Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Is That Gas Or...?
For the last couple of days I've been able to put my hands on my belly and feel little flutters. I read that I should start feeling these sensations now and that it may feel like gas bubbles but is actually the baby moving around in there. The hubby felt it too which was really exciting.
But flutters aren't the only thing I've been feeling. Friday and Saturday I was having a lot of "growing pains". Sharp pulling pains around one side of my belly that felt like a bad muscle pull. It was pretty sharp and would come on suddenly and stop me in my tracks. My midwife said that it could be a number of things - my uterus expanding, stretching from lifting too much at the gym, gas (there's that word again) or pressure from the baby's head pushing on one side.
Gas is blamed for feelings of nausea, looking more pregnant one day than the next because of bloating, indigestion and other things of the like. Can I add bouts of grumpiness and aggitation to this list? Because I would love to just let my frustrations out when I'm having a bad day at work and just say "oh sorry, I have gas".
But flutters aren't the only thing I've been feeling. Friday and Saturday I was having a lot of "growing pains". Sharp pulling pains around one side of my belly that felt like a bad muscle pull. It was pretty sharp and would come on suddenly and stop me in my tracks. My midwife said that it could be a number of things - my uterus expanding, stretching from lifting too much at the gym, gas (there's that word again) or pressure from the baby's head pushing on one side.
Gas is blamed for feelings of nausea, looking more pregnant one day than the next because of bloating, indigestion and other things of the like. Can I add bouts of grumpiness and aggitation to this list? Because I would love to just let my frustrations out when I'm having a bad day at work and just say "oh sorry, I have gas".
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Commuter Courtesy
Today was the first day someone gave up their seat for me on the train. For the last week or so I've been getting on the train, unzipping my coat and standing in front of any able bodied man I see. Occasionally I rub my belly "absent mindedly" waiting to see if he takes notice. It hasn't worked until today...way long into my commute. After the longest part of the ride in Queens I gave up, thinking probably my belly wasn't big enough to be noticed. But when I changed trains in the city I stood in front of a guy who looked at me and mouthed "are you pregnant? have my seat". I happily sat for the three stops to my job.
I've heard horror stories from other women who were like 20 months pregnant and sticking out 4 feet who had absolutely no one get up for them. Even some who were shoved out of the way by other people trying to get in the train. I personally haven't seen that happen, in fact I mostly see people on my train get up for the pregnant, elderly or disabled. I do it too, after I stare down any man in my view who is acting like they aren't going to get up. Seats are a hot commodity on the E and F trains. You get one, you don't want to move. Especially in the mornings. I actually avoid getting in a car if I see a pregnant or elderly person getting in so I won't have to loose a potential seat to them. But now I wonder, what will happen if there is just one seat left and it's between me and the old lady? Will I retreat? Maybe I would right now but in a few months a situation like that might get a little hairy.
I've heard horror stories from other women who were like 20 months pregnant and sticking out 4 feet who had absolutely no one get up for them. Even some who were shoved out of the way by other people trying to get in the train. I personally haven't seen that happen, in fact I mostly see people on my train get up for the pregnant, elderly or disabled. I do it too, after I stare down any man in my view who is acting like they aren't going to get up. Seats are a hot commodity on the E and F trains. You get one, you don't want to move. Especially in the mornings. I actually avoid getting in a car if I see a pregnant or elderly person getting in so I won't have to loose a potential seat to them. But now I wonder, what will happen if there is just one seat left and it's between me and the old lady? Will I retreat? Maybe I would right now but in a few months a situation like that might get a little hairy.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Working It Out
Last Thursday I went to the gym for the first time since September. I hadn't been mostly because I spent my whole first trimester freaked out about moving. I also felt like crap 90 percent of the time and just wanted to sleep on my couch all day. So I hired a trainer that works with pregnant women so that I could feel comfortable and do the right exercises. Before I got pregnant I was already having back problems so 4 months of desk, couch, bed, repeat had done a number on my spine. Add a growing tummy and it is a bad situation. My trainer was nice. He was very patient with my many questions and concerns. He could tell I was very uncomfortable with the concept of working out. When we started I was so acutely aware of my belly that I couldn't focus and just kept thinking I should not be exercising. Especially when as I was leaving my office to walk to the gym my boss said to me "don't lift any weights" and 10 minutes into the session the trainer handed me weights. Thanks. But by the end of the night I relaxed and stopped thinking I was a pregnant lady working out and just that I was working out.
Other than getting my back strong and staying fit, keeping my weight in check is another concern of mine. I'm already over the suggested weight gain for the number of weeks I am along the pregnancy and I'm a little freaked out about it. On Friday we had a birthday party for a coworker with some really yummy chocolate cake and a very nice cookie platter. After I had a slice of cake I was reaching for a cookie when two other coworkers started talking about how they both gained about 40 pounds during their pregnancies. That cookie never made it to my mouth. I know I will gain weight and I know I need to gain weight. But 40 pounds is so completely out of the scope of my comprehension that I just can't even imagine how that would work. Even 20 pounds is hard for me to make peace with. Seriously where is it going to go??? Trust me I'm not going to turn into one of those wacko upper east side mommys that eats a cube of cheese for lunch in order to stay "all stomach". I like food way too much. But I will do better to think before I reach for empty calories and keep up a schedule at the gym so I can stay healthy and fit.
But tonight I'm having cake from the party I just left and tomorrow...yoga.
Other than getting my back strong and staying fit, keeping my weight in check is another concern of mine. I'm already over the suggested weight gain for the number of weeks I am along the pregnancy and I'm a little freaked out about it. On Friday we had a birthday party for a coworker with some really yummy chocolate cake and a very nice cookie platter. After I had a slice of cake I was reaching for a cookie when two other coworkers started talking about how they both gained about 40 pounds during their pregnancies. That cookie never made it to my mouth. I know I will gain weight and I know I need to gain weight. But 40 pounds is so completely out of the scope of my comprehension that I just can't even imagine how that would work. Even 20 pounds is hard for me to make peace with. Seriously where is it going to go??? Trust me I'm not going to turn into one of those wacko upper east side mommys that eats a cube of cheese for lunch in order to stay "all stomach". I like food way too much. But I will do better to think before I reach for empty calories and keep up a schedule at the gym so I can stay healthy and fit.
But tonight I'm having cake from the party I just left and tomorrow...yoga.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
End of an Era
The belly ring is officially gone. My belly button started popping out about two weeks ago and as much as tried to keep the ring in it started to hurt. :(
I remember when I first got it. I was 17 and I managed to hide it from my mom for 3 years. She finally saw it one day when I was laying on the couch and my shirt rode up. I don't know how she saw it. It was dark, she was across the room and she didn't have her glasses on. But the light from the TV must have hit my jewelery just right because she came sprinting across the room with her finger pointed saying "What is that!!!". I told her is was a piercing and I'd had it for a while. Her response: "Aren't you afraid of disease?". Well Mom, it is gone now. If this baby is a girl I will only say one thing on this subject - wait until you get to college.
I remember when I first got it. I was 17 and I managed to hide it from my mom for 3 years. She finally saw it one day when I was laying on the couch and my shirt rode up. I don't know how she saw it. It was dark, she was across the room and she didn't have her glasses on. But the light from the TV must have hit my jewelery just right because she came sprinting across the room with her finger pointed saying "What is that!!!". I told her is was a piercing and I'd had it for a while. Her response: "Aren't you afraid of disease?". Well Mom, it is gone now. If this baby is a girl I will only say one thing on this subject - wait until you get to college.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Screaming Babies In Crowded Movie Theaters
When I first got married I had a feeling that my girlfriends were keeping a little distance from me. It was kind of like they were giving me space because I was newly married. I was probably overreacting but I remember having a conversation about it and saying that I didn't want space and really wanted for everything to be as normal. Now this fear/feeling is starting to reemerge again as a mother-to-be. Over the weekend while I was in LA my brother, his girlfriend and I got into a conversation about new parents and how their relationships with their non-parent friends changed. At the beginning it is totally understandable and I completely expect to be so tired and out of my mind with confusion that I won't even notice that my social interactions become a text here or there. But once I figure out the 30 second diaper change I am hoping to be the 'strap the kid on and get moving' type.
Right now we (hubby and friends) mostly spend our time together in low key ways - movies, dinners, hanging out at home and occasional parties and drink at the bar. This time with my friends is great and actually very important to me. My friends are like my family. And while I obviously won't be the person with the infant in a crowded movie theater (I know better than to do that) I do feel like there will be no reason for me to completely stop spending time with the people I care about once I'm a mom. What I wonder is will they still think to spend time with me and what will that look like?
Here is an example of why these thoughts come up - a couple of years ago I got into a little back and forth with a very close friend of mine because she didn't want to invite someone to a party that had recently had a baby. My girlfriend felt that the invite would be insulting since she thought it was obvious the new mom wouldn't be able to come. I told her the invite would be nice and would make the person feel like she was still thought of and will simply decline if she can't make it. (I was obviously still going through my 'You don't want to hang out with me because I'm married now' phase) We agreed to disagree but that has stuck with me ever since.
I guess with all of the things I should be concerned about in this situation, whether my friends will still invite me to dinner should really not be one of them. I'm not completely delusional. I know that there are more important things like will the baby have 11 toes or turn out Republican. As a new mom I know my little one will always come first and hanging out will not always be possible. I will be busy spending time with the baby and enjoying being a parent. Little Dash's happiness and health will now be my number 1 priority. But I also know that my friends wouldn't be my friends if they didn't understand that and be supportive, which I know they will be. I guess I'm just saying that even through life's many changes (baby, marriage, new job, etc) I feel we should always try to maintain some normalcy with what has been important in our lives and adapt and prioritize accordingly. In my case that is being able to spend time with the people I care about and hoping they then become a part of my new life as a mommy. In other words, invite me to the party. I won't be insulted.
Right now we (hubby and friends) mostly spend our time together in low key ways - movies, dinners, hanging out at home and occasional parties and drink at the bar. This time with my friends is great and actually very important to me. My friends are like my family. And while I obviously won't be the person with the infant in a crowded movie theater (I know better than to do that) I do feel like there will be no reason for me to completely stop spending time with the people I care about once I'm a mom. What I wonder is will they still think to spend time with me and what will that look like?
Here is an example of why these thoughts come up - a couple of years ago I got into a little back and forth with a very close friend of mine because she didn't want to invite someone to a party that had recently had a baby. My girlfriend felt that the invite would be insulting since she thought it was obvious the new mom wouldn't be able to come. I told her the invite would be nice and would make the person feel like she was still thought of and will simply decline if she can't make it. (I was obviously still going through my 'You don't want to hang out with me because I'm married now' phase) We agreed to disagree but that has stuck with me ever since.
I guess with all of the things I should be concerned about in this situation, whether my friends will still invite me to dinner should really not be one of them. I'm not completely delusional. I know that there are more important things like will the baby have 11 toes or turn out Republican. As a new mom I know my little one will always come first and hanging out will not always be possible. I will be busy spending time with the baby and enjoying being a parent. Little Dash's happiness and health will now be my number 1 priority. But I also know that my friends wouldn't be my friends if they didn't understand that and be supportive, which I know they will be. I guess I'm just saying that even through life's many changes (baby, marriage, new job, etc) I feel we should always try to maintain some normalcy with what has been important in our lives and adapt and prioritize accordingly. In my case that is being able to spend time with the people I care about and hoping they then become a part of my new life as a mommy. In other words, invite me to the party. I won't be insulted.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The 1st Trimester
So, what were the 1st 14 weeks like? I tried a little experiment and sat down and just typed what came to my mind when I thought about my 1st trimester:
And now...
Anyway so here we are officially in the 2nd trimester. James and I call the baby Dash (no not after the Kardashians) since we aren't finding out if it is a boy or girl and figure the name sounds gender neutral enough. The last two days I have actually felt pretty good. I'm going to start working out again next week to "stop the spread" and my appetite is getting better and no longer just want to eat grilled cheese sandwiches and pizza. I'll post pictures of the bump that I just noticed yesterday when I tried to bend forward to put my socks on. Literally just noticed it was there. Oh yeah...due date is July 14th.
I felt everything. I felt my skin stretching and my uterus pulling. I felt my breasts harden, my hips widen, my organs shifting and my belly button popping. Every tweak, tickle, tug and sharpie got my attention. I noticed dull aches in my lower back and slight twinges in my lower abdomen. I had violent hunger pangs in my stomach and got light headed when I stood. It doesn’t stop there. I felt every emotion and sympathized with everyone else’s tears – happy or sad. I wanted to be sentimental. I wanted to be angry. I couldn't stop remarking how cute my dog was and I wanted to hear about everyone’s babies – did they coo, did they smile, are they walking yet? Everything smelled bad and all I wanted to do was sleep. I loved everyone and I hated them all. 26 weeks to go.
A lot of this is still going on but my emotions are leveling off and my energy is starting to get better. The smells aren't as bad either. Before I would vomit at the smell of black coffee and eggs. Now I can stand to be around coffee and have even started eating eggs again. One thing that hasn't come back yet is my sweet tooth. This bothers me a lot because I love sweets and I was really getting into baking them over the summer. At one point I was even eating a different Crumbs cupcake a week because cupcakes are one of God's many gifts to Man. But this lack of enthusiasm for sugar is probably a good thing since my Midwife put the fear of God in me to not develop Gestational Diabetes and this morning I realized my butt and hips are visably spreading to a width I am not comfortable with.
How we told Mom:
James and I found out we were pregnant a week before my Mom came for her visit. I peed on a stick after my period was late and sat on the toilet for about an hour waiting for the result to change but it didn't. After we calmed down we decided to be cute about it and wait until my mom got to NY to tell her. We bought a little bib that said "I Love My Grandma" and put it on a onesie and just handed it to her. She thought it was for the dog, of course. Once she understood it was for a human baby she said "Finally!!! My baby is having a baby!!!" and got really excited. I think she started planning the baptism the next day. BTW she keeps calling it a wedding if that gives any indication to what kind of party this is going to be.
Telling people:
I couldn't keep it in. I was talking all kinds of smack before that if we ever got pregnant we weren't telling anyone until the 2nd trimester blah blah. Most of who you read this will laugh since you probably knew at week 5. I get why people want to wait. It is nice to keep it private and a lot can happen in the 1st trimester so you don't want to say anything until you pass certain milestones. All these worries kept me up at night and made me sick because I was so scared I would do something wrong. I was afraid of sudden movements it was so bad. And reading "What to Expect When Your Expecting" made it worse. That book is aweful. 1st it told me it would take me 6 months to a year to get pregnant (took two months folks) then it made it seem like I needed to eat a cow every day or my baby will have two heads (I'm supposed to be a vegetarian). So it was comforting to be able to talk about all this with my Mom and my girlfriends and know they were supportive and praying for me. They talked me off the ledge many times and I appreciated it. How else would I have known all those tugs and pains and weird feelings were normal and it is okay to walk for more than 5 minutes?
As for my coworkers well that got out pretty early. It started when I was worried about something I was feeling and I asked a coworker a hypothetical question. This coworker is like the mom of the office and she has a baby herself. She took one look at me and told me I was pregnant and shoved the very test I would take 4 days later that confirmed it into my pants pocket. I "officially" told people in the office the week we got our 1st picture of the baby and the fetal nuchal something something test came back negative (the one for genetic stuff and Downs).
And now...
Anyway so here we are officially in the 2nd trimester. James and I call the baby Dash (no not after the Kardashians) since we aren't finding out if it is a boy or girl and figure the name sounds gender neutral enough. The last two days I have actually felt pretty good. I'm going to start working out again next week to "stop the spread" and my appetite is getting better and no longer just want to eat grilled cheese sandwiches and pizza. I'll post pictures of the bump that I just noticed yesterday when I tried to bend forward to put my socks on. Literally just noticed it was there. Oh yeah...due date is July 14th.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Welcome!
Hi family and friends. I'm bursting to yap on all day about my pregnancy but don't want to be annoying. So maybe if I keep up this blog you guys can come at your leisure and see how things are progressing.
Love!
Natalie
Love!
Natalie
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