Registry Hell

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. Work has been super stressful and we had some family concerns. But thanks to the folks who have gotten in touch encouraging me to keep blogging! I appreciate the support!!!! I definitely plan to keep this up.

Also the part of my brain dedicated to baby/pregnancy thoughts and activities has been consumed by figuring out my registry. Let me just be clear... I HATE putting this registry together. I would rather deal with my growing hemorrhoids than with what kind of layettes to pick out. See I'm the type of person that does not enjoy shopping. I rarely go to the mall and I only go inside a store if I need something specific. And the stores I visit have to be organized. Those designer discount stores like TJ Maxx or Marshalls scare me. Even dept. stores like Macy's and H&M freak me out. Everything is thrown together, there is no rhythm or reason to how the clothes are set up and if you don't go at 9am on a weekday there are too many people and it is hot inside. This is the feeling I have been getting when even sitting at my laptop attempting to work on my registry online.

My biggest issue has been - what do I actually need to register for? I have no idea how big the baby will be when he or she is born so really not sure if I need newborn size or 0-3 months. Every crib or dresser the hubby does research on has complaints about the quality of the wood - why would I buy shitty quality furniture? There are a billion strollers and of course the one I like is $900. Do I really need a wipee warmer, diaper genie or changing table? And how am I supposed to know what kind of nipples for the bottles or diapers the baby will take to now? It's like deciding the baby's major for college 18 years early.

This whole process is giving me anxiety. The only thing stopping me from making a "personal shopping consultant" appointment at Buy Buy Baby is that I hate being sold to and that is what I feel they will do. For example, last night I finally bit the bullet and went shopping for a pair maternity jeans at Pea in Pod/Modern Maternity. The 1st two sales ladies I ran into tried to push $200 jeans on me and told me that if I wanted soft skinny jeans that was all they had. An hour later, surprise! I walked out with 2 pairs of jeans each costing 40 bucks that she happened to find somewhere in the back.

I could go on and on about how the Business of Being Born (great documentary by the way if you are open to learning about natural birth and how giving birth in America - specifically in NYC - is all a business and not about you or your baby) should go beyond the birthing experience. The racket starts from pregnancy and follows you the whole way through. It is like getting caught up in wedding spending but worse. When you over spend on a wedding you aren't doing it because someone is telling you that your gown has the highest safety rating so you don't risk hurting yourself walking down the aisle. But talk to me about how the $900 stroller has a car seat that exceeds all US safety ratings and I pull out the Amex. Bottom line I want the best for my baby and that is my Achilles heel. I mean if I could justify purchasing thousand dollar handbags throughout my twenties because I told myself Gucci will last forever, how can I scoff at the best ergonomic organic carrier for my baby or a crib made of solid wood that converts into three different pieces of furniture? See, I don't need a sales person, I'm fine selling myself. 

A Few Words On Hunger

I've been experiancing a new kind of hunger. The kind that hits me whenever I go too long between feedings. It is not a subtle or a gradual feeling of hunger but an abrupt slap in the face. It hits me like that special smell you get when you walk into a subway car that has had a homeless person stewing in it all night. And the eating that follows this hunger is not something I enjoy. In fact I hardly remember it but when it's over I look down at my empty plate and think to myself - did I even chew?

Favorite Old Wives Tale (so far)

If you don't eat enough protien while pregnant and you end up having a boy, your baby boy will have a small penis.

That is all.

Random Observation: 2/11

This morning I got out of the shower and sat on the bed and noticed that my boobs were resting on my belly. Yeah...

The Early Signs Of Nesting

I woke up this morning with an overwhelming urge to start re-organizing the apartment and purchase baby stuff. Not sure if this is the first sign of "nesting". Up until now I haven't really sat down and thought through what we will need once the baby comes. It feels a bit overwhelming and I have no idea where to even begin. I know there are plenty of resources out there to help me figure it out - online, friends, family - but I really just haven't been in the mood to do it. Part of it is feeling that it is too soon, the other part is my usual procrastinating behavior about things that I am scared of. It's like when I have to fly. Since I am afraid of flying I never pack before 2am the night before because I just don't want to deal with it and packing just brings me one step closer to being trapped in that airplane. But like flying, preparing for the baby is something I know I must deal with. I do have hope though that this blah mood is lifting since this morning all I could think about was going to Buy Buy Baby and picking out clothes and furniture. The hubby and I figured it was probably still too soon and ended up instead spending the day sleeping but we are making plans to do it soon and I am starting to feel excited about it.

wow wow wow wow...

...that is what my baby's heartbeat sounds like on the monitor. Yesterday we had an appointment with our midwife. She drew my blood, took my weight, measured my belly and put the little sound contraption on me that let us hear wow wow wow wow wow. It is very cool. 

The blood drawing was to screen for something I can't pronounce or spell, but it is important and is one of the last things having to do with checking genetic defects. Usually our appointments last a good hour with mostly talking but she didn't have too much time for us because she had a patient in labor. This prompted me to ask her when can we start talking about the birth experiance and what to expect and all. She said not until after all my screenings are done and the anatomy scan at the end of the month. (This is an ultrasound where we will see all the baby's organs to make sure everything is developing properly.) She doesn't want to jump ahead into conversations about birth plans right now in case something is wrong and we have to deal with it. Deal with it??? Deal with what? I'm 17 weeks now and so far every screen has been normal, I feel the baby moving and I can hear the heart beating. I think I'm pretty invested at this point. For me this is going forward and what I have to deal with right now is what to register for and where is the crib going. I understand she is being practical but practical was maybe 7 weeks ago. This is of course maybe hormonal me talking and not practical Capricorn me but that is how I feel. So of course I was in a sour mood after that and I didn't feel better until the end when I heard Dash's heart singing wow wow wow wow. WOW indeed my little one. 

Strange Baby Things

Safe to say, this will not be on my registry.