Strapped In To Nitro

In one week I'll be entering my third trimester. That means three months to go and the baby will be here. I keep thinking how I didn't think about how this kid was coming out when I was thinking about putting it in. Labor and Delivery scare me to death and I wish I could wiggle my nose and just come home with a new baby one day. We just registered for a childbirth class which makes the whole thing begin to feel too real in my head. A short conversation with the coach had me sweating. She thinks my baby may come early since it will be summer and hot. Early is not what I want to hear. But that is just her non scientific opinion based on her experience with summer babies. I don't know if I can handle early and I don't know if late would drive me crazy with anxiety. It will just have to happen when it happens and when it does I'm just praying to God that I deal with the pain better than I think I will. I sometimes surprise myself when it comes to pain tolerance so I hope this will be one of those cases. 

We finally finished the registry last week. Took hours and I am so happy because I will never do that ever again :) Now we just have a laundry list of random things that need to get done before Dash arrives and it feels like this last three months will fly by. I'm so excited to meet my baby. I can't wait to see if Dash is a boy or a girl. 99% of the comments I get are boy because of the way I am carrying, so we'll see. 99% of the comments also mention something about me looking like I'm just about ready even though I have a whole trimester to go. So either there are 2 in here, Dash is a big baby, or I'm just a big mommy. The other day I had a thought that Dash is a girl because of something I thought was different about my face and I heard your face changes when you are having a girl. But I really have no clue. 

Physically I'm okay. The back pain is getting worse but I'm managing it with more stretching and creative sleeping positions. The ligament pains on my underbelly started this week and sometimes they are pretty uncomfortable. It feels like a pulled muscle so walking and getting up from sitting tends to be a little painful. But I am doing more yoga and reminding myself to slow down so it's okay. Mentally the stress is still a factor and it is mostly work related. And that's all I'm going to say about that...for now.
But my baby is doing well, kicking a lot and moving (quite visibly sometimes) from side to side. But I really just want Dash to stay put. In my belly I know where my baby is, I know my baby is warm and safe and I guess my world remains somewhat the same. I'm still going out, sleeping in, traveling and being normal. Just in bigger clothes. But the baby being out and in the world physically means I have to do more than just carry him or her around in a space where Dash is fed automatically and doesn't need a diaper. And that is the scary panicky part. That is what makes looking at the next three months feel like a never ending ascension on a roller coaster headed for the 1st big camel hump. You can't get off the ride at this point but you wish you could because you are scared to death of the 1st drop. But your excited for it which is why you got on in the first place. So there you are sitting strapped in climbing higher and higher waiting to reach the top so you can go screaming and down over the edge and through what you anticipate will be the best ride of your life. The next three months consider me strapped in to Nitro, waiting for the best ride of my life to start.